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Medusa (Stone Tears) by LexySama
Medusa (Stone Tears)
Portrait of Medusa I did a while ago in my sketchbook.
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The other day a wonderful person and fellow deviant, :iconneptuneclawz7: committed suicide due to bullying. She was only 13. This was her final journal:

goodbye foreverfor those of who are wondering if i am milkshake, no i am actually a friend sharing this account (yellow)
I am so sorry, but this is my final goodbye. I dint see a point to this world, such cruel things.
I am so sorry everybody, but i wont be active for the rest of my life, not for anything at all.
I just wanted to say my last goodbye im sorry i cant . ;(((((((
Goodbye glitch, im sorry i said those things about you.
Goodbye everyone, i hope you live in a world where you are appreciated
Goodbye forever -Yellow


I didn't know her, but I wish I had. I wish that I had had the opportunity to know and talk to her about it, and so that we could have been friends. Its terrible, how people treat each other. How someone thought that bullying, pushing someone to their BRINK AND BEYOND was no big deal, I will never know. 

What I DO know is that this, should not be swept to the wayside. 

THIS HAS TO STOP. Are things not bad enough already? Bullying should be put more in the spotlight, and not something likened to "kids just being kids." Its NEVER that. Its kids being little pieces of shit and tormenting another one because they have nothing better to do than see someone squirm and cave in on themselves. The kids who did this should be in jail and their parents should wear a symbol, letting everyone know that they are the parents of a BULLY, who didn't have enough parental fortitude to make sure that their child didn't hurt anyone else. 

And schools need to be held responsible and have criminal charges filed against them. Especially the teachers. Because teachers don't do SHIT when they see someone being bullied, because they are more worried about their own hides if they protect another kid. Its not the teachers who suffer its the one being ignored when its happening, and make no mistake, they KNOW its happening.

I'm sorry, I really am. I don't want this to be a rant but I'm FUCKING LIVID. Not at Yellow, God no, but to the ones around her who could have done nothing, but didn't. Please. PLEASE...If you see someone bullying STEP IN. You never know, you could save that person's life......Rest in Peace Yellow and know that you are loved, even if I or other people didn't get a chance to know you. We are a family here on Deviant Art and to hear that one of our own saw no other way out hurts us deeply. But you are remembered, and forever loved. 

R.I.P. Yellow.


Yellow by neptuneclawz7
  • Mood: Remorse

I went to the doctor today.....



I had been dreading this appointment for nearly a month. I was getting too sick and my aunt scheduled an appointment for me. Before my physical I was told that they were gonna take some blood for blood work. After that was over, I was directed to the room where I would have my blood drawn.

Let me tell you boys and girls, I FUCKING HATE NEEDLES. Like, with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns. They terrify the shit out of me. The last time I got a needle I cried. And that was years ago when I was a kid. Now, don't get me wrong. The nurse was actually really nice, actually screw that. She was downright COOL. She had her music playing, and she was singing like she didn't have a worry in the world.

Quite the opposite to what I was feeling.

I asked her how long did it take to draw the blood, just to get myself to calm down. She said it wouldn't take long, and after a bit she came over and took out a butterfly needle.

That's when things started to go wrong. 

She brought the tourniquet over and started to tie it around my arm and I started stalling, telling her that I had anxiety. She started reassuring me that it would be quick and that it was only a pinch. She even touched the crook of my arm and said that I had a really good vein. Obviously that did the opposite of reassure me. I got really scared, and I started having flashbacks of when I'd gotten needles as a kid.

And suddenly that butterfly needle wasn't small, it was enormous and in my irrational mind, that needle going into my arm was akin to being stabbed over and over again with thousands of needles. I was getting riled up, while the nurse, bless her heart, tried her best to reassure me that everything would be okay. She wrapped the tourniquet around my arm again and wiped the area on my arm where she would draw the blood from. I was muttering to myself that I couldn't do it over and over again, my mouth and my throat suddenly felt like the desert. I felt pressure building in my head and my eyes started blinking rapidly.

And when the nurse came over to draw my blood, it became too much. I had a full blown panic attack. The nurse tried her best to get me to calm down by opening the windows so that I could get some air, and gently patting my face with a wet paper towel. When that wasn't working, they had to call my aunt in from the waiting room to help calm me down enough so that they could actually get the needle in. I could barely see anything because my eyes had rolled to the back of my head.

I still hadn't fully calmed down when the nurse finally put the needle in and I can remember making this startled sound. After it was over and I had calmed down, I was so embarrassed. Even the doctor who examined me earlier had to come in and help calm me down in the midst of everything. I had been shaking, hyperventilating, my eyes were actually fluttering and they rolled to the back of my head to the point that my aunt hadn't even seen any part of my pupils. Only the whites of my eyes. I even CRIED. My mind had been conjuring up what the pain would be like when the needle went in and magnifying it to unrealistic proportions.

I felt so humiliated, because I guess my aunt and my cousin thought I was being kinda dramatic and was amused by it. I laughed along with them but on the inside I was hurt. It wasn't funny at all and I'm starting to think that no one really takes my panic attacks seriously...Like they think I'm just being dramatic. I hadn't told my mom that I went to the doctor....And I know that she would have been worse about it than my aunt and cousin were. She would've gotten mad that I had a panic attack. It happened when I was a kid and the dentist was going to stick a NEEDLE IN MY MOUTH.

Its pretty much why I don't want to tell her anything when it comes to my health or my personal feelings or life. Because quite honestly, I very much doubt that she or anyone really takes me seriously. It almost feels like I'd be disappointing someone if I told them I felt these things. I guess that's just the perfectionist side of me demanding that I not fail at anything, even when it comes to my health.

  • Mood: Remorse
THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

I don't know what you're doing with your life right now but if you aren't trying to enter :iconwitchpaws: SushiDog givaway then you are clearly not experiencing life to the fullest.

CUSTOM SUSHI DOG GIVEAWAY 2015! :: CLOSED :: by witchpaws

There. I just provided the answer to all your problems.

Go check out her giveaway immediately.
  • Mood: Thrilled

Commissions

Headshot Commissions
Doing 5 slots of Headshot commissions.

Either pay with points or paypal. First come first serve.
$5 God Tier Commissions
$5 God Tier Commissions

Note me with the details.

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    dAhub
    Donated May 19, 2014, 5:01:12 PM
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LexySama's Profile Picture
LexySama
Alexis
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I am a mystery! RAWR!
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The other day a wonderful person and fellow deviant, :iconneptuneclawz7: committed suicide due to bullying. She was only 13. This was her final journal:

goodbye foreverfor those of who are wondering if i am milkshake, no i am actually a friend sharing this account (yellow)
I am so sorry, but this is my final goodbye. I dint see a point to this world, such cruel things.
I am so sorry everybody, but i wont be active for the rest of my life, not for anything at all.
I just wanted to say my last goodbye im sorry i cant . ;(((((((
Goodbye glitch, im sorry i said those things about you.
Goodbye everyone, i hope you live in a world where you are appreciated
Goodbye forever -Yellow


I didn't know her, but I wish I had. I wish that I had had the opportunity to know and talk to her about it, and so that we could have been friends. Its terrible, how people treat each other. How someone thought that bullying, pushing someone to their BRINK AND BEYOND was no big deal, I will never know. 

What I DO know is that this, should not be swept to the wayside. 

THIS HAS TO STOP. Are things not bad enough already? Bullying should be put more in the spotlight, and not something likened to "kids just being kids." Its NEVER that. Its kids being little pieces of shit and tormenting another one because they have nothing better to do than see someone squirm and cave in on themselves. The kids who did this should be in jail and their parents should wear a symbol, letting everyone know that they are the parents of a BULLY, who didn't have enough parental fortitude to make sure that their child didn't hurt anyone else. 

And schools need to be held responsible and have criminal charges filed against them. Especially the teachers. Because teachers don't do SHIT when they see someone being bullied, because they are more worried about their own hides if they protect another kid. Its not the teachers who suffer its the one being ignored when its happening, and make no mistake, they KNOW its happening.

I'm sorry, I really am. I don't want this to be a rant but I'm FUCKING LIVID. Not at Yellow, God no, but to the ones around her who could have done nothing, but didn't. Please. PLEASE...If you see someone bullying STEP IN. You never know, you could save that person's life......Rest in Peace Yellow and know that you are loved, even if I or other people didn't get a chance to know you. We are a family here on Deviant Art and to hear that one of our own saw no other way out hurts us deeply. But you are remembered, and forever loved. 

R.I.P. Yellow.


Yellow by neptuneclawz7
  • Mood: Remorse

Critiques

SUGGESTION - COMIC SUBMISSION by Kaoyux
by Kaoyux

Like so many others, I too have had a hard time reading comics, doujinshi, story chapters, and etc., because of the artist having to su...

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Journal History

Comments


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:iconpstutorialsws:
pstutorialsws Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
Thanks a bunch for the :+fav: :squee:.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconchicath:
ChicaTH Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the favourite!
Your art is neat! Have a +watch. <3
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondouganator219:
Douganator219 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
ago-dun.deviantart.com/
Plz follow, its supposed to be a more "professional" looking account.
Its a replacement for this current account.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconseg0lene:
seg0lene Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fav, really appreciated ^^
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcaitykitty13:
CaityKitty13 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015
thanks for the fav :)
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(1 Reply)
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